39 Ways to Live, and Not Merely Exist
APA-APA PUN BOLEH
Rojak. Apa-apa yang ada kat otak aku sekarang ni aku tulis... Semoga boleh jadi panduan kepada sesiapa yang berkenaan
"The proper function of man is to live - not to exist." -- Jack London
http://www.dumblittleman.com/2007/06/39-ways-to-live-and-not-merely-exist.htmlAre you dating someone?
I hope these tips of donts help you (if you read this before you date). As for me, well, I have passed that stage
It is almost the holiday season….have you found that special someone yet? Well if you find yourself reading this post, I can safely bet the answer is an emphatic “NO”. No worries, as you still have a few more weeks before you find yourself alone at the company Christmas party, or alone on Christmas Eve and drowning your sorrows in cheaply made egg nogg at your local watering hole. Sorry for being so grim here. I am in the same boat you are. (I think we should all get together and have an anti-holiday Christmas party for us singles).
I am a current member of an online dating site, and have been for almost 5 months now. I have met some really nice guys on there, but…they just aren’t what I am looking for. I’m sure that any other women in her right mind would have already been dating (and presumably married) these guys, but I am going for broke. I have a mental image of exactly who and what I am looking for and refuse to settle for less. So sue me (but watch out because I will promptly file a counter-suit and the firm that I work for will get a kick out of this one, for sure).
So without further adieu, here are my top 10 reasons I will NOT go out on a second date with you. I have to be honest….this is going to be pretty brutal on some people. I’m sorry. These are just common courtesy things you must do in order to make a great first impression on someone.
1. You showed up late to our first date without calling.
This one is pretty self explanatory. Unless you are a heart surgeon and the triple bypass surgery you were operating on went into double overtime, you had better have a good explanation as to why you were late. I understand that traffic issues and transportation issue can cause people to be late to a date. Wildly assuming you don’t have a cell-phone, forgot your morse-code device at home and the blanket used to make smoke signals is tattered and torn, for pete’s sake, when you finally do arrive late try to have at least a plausible excuse. Alien abduction/subsequential probing/you helped a little old lady escape a burning house fire, anything will do. Just don’t waltz on over to the table and pretend that nothing happened. This shows that you are unreliable, and if I can’t trust your word on the first date, how am I supposed to trust you in a relationship?
2. Baby stink-breath (and jacked up teeth)
If I can smell your stank breath from 10 feet away, what in god’s green earth makes you think I would want to kiss that sanitation dump? Try brushing your teeth before a date. I realize that not everyone has perfect teeth (me neither) but at least bleach those suckers so that they don’t look like an army of miniature gold miners have set up camp in your grill. If your teeth are seriously jacked, and you can’t afford the $10,000 cosmetic dental procedures, then try looking up your local dental school. They offer discounted rates to get quality dental work done by students (under the stern supervision of their instructors, of course).
3. Nervousness
Granted. Everyone gets nervous on their first date. But it shouldn’t get to the point where your hands are physically shaking and you stare at me with a blank stare on your face. I went out on dinner date at a local sports pub/diner and I immediately noticed something was wrong when the guy did not make eye contact with me when we first met. After we had sat down and ordered, there was absolutely no small talk. I had to carry the entire conversation and it was downright painful. Every question that I directed at him was a cue for him to take the proverbial ball and run with it. His answers were a short “yes” and “no” and the lovely “Umm, I don’t know” followed by a nervous laugh and another blank stare at me. Not everyone can show complete confidence and even fewer people can fake their way through it. Before you go out on another train wreck of a date, try to spare yourself the embarrassment before hand. Join a local Toastmasters club or take a night class at your local community college. This is a great way to get over the jitters that are accompanied by meeting new people for the first time. I might take you a few months to get your proverbial game in check, but at least this way the next time you go out on a date, your hands won’t be shaking so violently that you get more salt on the table than you do on your fries.
4. Psychics
I cannot stand it when I am out on a date with a guy, and during the course of a normal conversation he starts talking in a future tense. Example: I was out on date with a guy and we hit it off pretty well. 1/2 way into the conversation, he starts talking about “our next camping trip” (I like to go camping) and that made me feel pretty uncomfortable. True, I had told him that I like to camp, and was planning a trip in the not to far future, but for him to assume that I am going to take him with me after only knowing him for a few hours was completely out of line. Throughout the night, he kept planning future dates and future events for us. I mean, if I had found the love of my life (and had a few glasses of vino) then I might have played along. But not for someone who I have only known for a few hours. The creepiest part of the date was when he asked me “what should we name our first born son?” CAMERIERE !! IL CONTO, PER FAVORE !!!
5. Stalkers
Oh lordy….I cannot even begin to count the number of times I have had to change my email address to avoid the guys who just couldn’t take a hint. We had gone out on one date, it was pretty obvious to the both of us that there was no chemistry whatsoever and we agreed to end it on a pleasant note. The very next day I got an email from him, asking me if I wanted to come over and “watch a movie” at his place. I politely responded back that I was still not interested and wished him the best of luck. Whoops….looks like I touched on a raw nerve because the very next day I got a 3 page email blasting me for being a “total and complete bitch” and how “women like me deserve to be single”. He then went on to very eloquently say that he couldn’t understand why all women did this to him……yikes. So he continued this email barrage for another two days until I sent him a strongly worded cease and desist complete in my best legalese to date (I knew all those years spent in law school would come in handy someday) and he finally got the message. Girls, if you have an email stalker, the best thing to do is to Google a “cease and desist” letter and change it to your liking. Tell him that he is “walking a thin line between communication and stalking” and make it clear that you have no further intention of continuing the conversation with him. That usually does the trick. If it doesn’t, contact your local police department via email and forward them a copy of the emails and “cc” them in your cease and desist email.
6. Einsteins theory of stupidity.
Nothing turns a girl off faster than some anal-retentive jerk who talks down to us in a condescending tone throughout the entire date then expects us to fall head over heels for them. I don’t know about the rest of you ladies, but I just can’t wait to call a guy back the next day after he stomped all over me like a dead carcass the night before. If it smells like a rose and looks like a rose and sounds like a rose on a date, it is probably a stinking pile of you-know-what. I met a guy once for a dinner date who was a supposed prominent attorney, only to come to find out he had failed the bar 3 times in a row and was working as a administrative assistant for a local attorney. During the course of the dinner date I could not get a word in edge-wise over how many court cases he had won and how he was “this close” to becoming a partner etc. et al. Loser.
7. Rudeness to your waiter
I recently read on CNN.com that the majority of CEO’s worldwide say that you can tell a man’s character by the way he treats others, waiters in particular. People that are rude to others or treat them like dirt usually have a bad character. If you are rude to someone who is trying to help you enjoy your dining experience, what are the chances you will treat me the same way? For me, this goes beyond eating in restaurants. I like to give guys who pass muster with me on the first date a little test on the second date. I will take him to Starbucks or anywhere else for that matter. Not any Starbucks, but one with the most incompetent cashier/server that I have ever encountered. Someone SO bad, that most people go out of their way to be nicer to this person. If my date is rude or starts getting huffy or pissy with the server, I will instantly fake a phone call from a friend and leave mr. big shot to sit and wonder why I left after only 10 minutes on the date.
8. Rapmaster “B” and the Funky Bunch
Maybe I should have entitled this one “How to speak proper English”. Nothing turns me off more, than someone with bad grammar. When first communicating with a guy via email, he has the luxury of using the spell check before he sends off his letters of woo to me. On a date, if I hear any of the following words during the normal course of conversation, it’s over: (guys take note)
Ummm Bro, if you was like gunna come to me with that kinda language on the first date…..bro, you had better prepare for the shortest date in your life cuz I’m fixin’ to bail on your sorry no-grammar-having a$$.
9. Nice shoes, wanna screw?
There is a proper time and a proper place for strong sexual innuendos. The first couple of dates are NOT said proper time. Don’t say it, don’t even think it. There is nothing more pathetic than someone who turns every word a girl says into something sexual. I don’t care how big you are, how many girls you have been with, how “great of a lover” you are. Maybe the last ho-bag that you dated did, but as a proper respectable female, I do not. I am pretty sure most other women will agree with this statement. Treat us like the proper ladies we are !!
10. Not taking a hint.
Guys: Women look for chemistry on a date. In this day and age, men with good looks and lots of money and tons of charm are a dime a dozen. I don’t care how big and buff you are. I don’t care what kind of care you drive. What I do care is the chemistry that I perceive to feel on the first couple of dates. If it isn’t there, cut your losses and end it. Most women are too nice to break it off with a guy they aren’t really “feeling it” with, so they agree to go out on one or two more dates. You should notice something’s amiss when we aren’t making direct eye contact, or our body language suggests that you take a long walk off a short pier, or you catch us smiling and flirting with a cute guy that happens to be sitting near us.
Well there you have it. 10 reasons why I will never call you after our first date. I realize that I did not give any ground-breaking insight into the female mind here as that was not my intention. I think that in this crazy day and age of online dating, people should really start getting back to the basics. Common courtesy will do us all some good. After your next failed date, come back to this page and reread the above 10 tips and ask yourself if you did any of the above.
If I can summarize this entire post into one statement it would be this: Treat everyone you meet in life with the same respect and courtesy you would wish upon yourself. I think this entire world has gone ape sh!t nuts and the root cause of it is simple lack of respect for one another. It’s as simple as that folks….let’s try to respect each other. Life is too short to be angry or walk around with a chip on your shoulder. If there is a problem, instead of blaming it on someone else, try to fix it yourself.
Hopefully this post will help some clueless soul out there become successful one of the dating sites this holiday season.
Source: http://onlinedatingmatches.com/top-10-reasons-why-i-wont-call-you-after-our-first-date/40/
Melayu dan Cina (utk pengajaran)
siti aisyah <sitishah83@yahoo.com> wrote:
assalamualaikum dan salam sejahtera.
rasa terpanggil nak mencelah isu peniaga orang kita ni sbb baru tadi kwn sekerja dapat pengalaman buruk berurusan dengan kedai melayu di alamanda putrajaya.
kawan sy tempah contact lens warna grey mggu lepas. smalam kami pergi kedai tu sebelah kanan aja yg available. lepas tu harini kami pergi lagi igt2 kn yg sebelah kiri dh available tp rupanya belum. in fact, org kedai yg berbangsa melayu tu ckp tak ada. tak kn kwn sy nk pkai sebelah aje contact lens dia? apa lagi kwn sy pn meradang jgklah smpai tinggi suara. sy menyaksikan mcm mana kwn sy dilayan dr luar kedai.
lelaki melayu di kaunter tu mmg berlagak, sombong, muka kerek. kwn sy gertak ckp this is the last time dia beli kt kedai tu. org tu pn jwb ala sy x heran klau lps ni awk x nk beli kt sni lagi. heiiii, apa jenis peniaga mcm ni? kurang ajar, bodohnye. mcm2 lagi peniaga tu bersama2 pkerja2 lain di kedai melayu tu maki kwn sy. klau peniaga cina dia akan usaha beli dr kedai lain klau barang yg customer nk tu xde di kedai dia.
sy pkai contact lens jgk. tp sy pkai yg special sbb mata sy rabun silau. sy tempah khas di kotaraya. ada 1 kedai cina kesukaan sy sbb layanan yg profesional dan harga berpatutan. sy puas hati sgt beli dr peniaga cina tu. mmg kesal sbb xdpt tolong org melayu tp kedai melayu slalu hampeh. kita punyalah ikhlas nk tolong majukan perniagaan diorg tp diorg yg xmau tolong diri sendiri.
tp x semestinya peniaga cina bagus, melayu hampeh. pd pendapat sy melayu, cina sama sj. x kira apa pkerjaan kita skalipun, klau kita x ikhlas mmg pelanggan atau org yg berurusan dgn kita dpt servis yg tahapahapa. ada jgk beberapa kdai cina yg sy pegi layanan teruk dan x ada jgk kdai melayu yg bagus. pokok pangkalnya smua terpulang pd hati budi org2 itu sendiri.
tak kira pkerja swasta atau kerajaan sama jugak. perlu ikhlaskn hati dalam bekerja sehari-harian. barulah berkat dan org2 yg berurusan dgn kita rasa dihargai. yang penting smua org ada perasaan dan hati.
apapun sy takkan masuk lagi kedai menara optometry alamanda putrajaya. they need to learn more how to treat customer appropriately in a proper manner.
mastura ab ghaffor <masturax@yahoo.com> wrote:
Salam untuk semua,
Semalam saya bercuti kerja & pergi shopping. Sangat nyata layanan orang/pekerja Melayu sangat buruk dan tidak profesional. Disenaraikan insident yang di alami setakat sehari sahaja-semalam 13 November 2007!
1) Masuk kedai jamu nak beli set lepas bersalin. Pekerjanya langsung tak menegur, baca majalah artis! aku nampak set pilihan hati,
tapi saje buat tanya dimana barang tu, pekerja tu boleh cakap kat atas rak-no 3 dari tepi. Aku pun pandang le kaki pekerja tu, ingatkan tempang ke? Tak bangun pun tunjukkan. Sepatah tanya khasiat & quantity sepatah dijawab...masih duduk lagi!!
Aku tanya lagi brand lain ade tak? dia tunjuk saja, dan tak sambung promosi pun! Aku kesian betul dengan budak melayu yang tak besemangat macam tu. Memang hampeh!!! Aku berlalu dengan rasa sakit hati melihat anak bangsa begitu...
2) Nak daftar ASTRO pulak. Ade 2 pekerja muda pakai T shirt ASTRO - satu melayu & satu Cina. Anak cina tu layan & promote baik punya, si melayu senyum2, tunduk malu aje. Aku kemudian jalan lagi sbb nak fikir dulu & beri sale kat budak melayu tu. Kali kedua aku sampai di situ, budak melayu tu sedang berborak sakan dengan sorang perempuan- aku rasa kawan dia, bukan customer pun...cakap hal2 lepas sekolah, universiti sana sini. Kesimpulan kerja budak melayu tu tak serious pun, main2. entahla bole maju tak masa depannya.....Tak tau la kalau setakat kerja nak isi masa- dah kaya sangat kot...
3) Pergi pejabat pos untuk buat kiriman barang. 2 Pekerja pos tu berborak2 depan aku pasal buat kuih raya??? Tak boleh ke mereka ni berhenti borak sekejap!! pada pandangan aku sudah cukup biadap sikap mereka ni.
Aku sebenarnya pernah bekerja dengan 2 syarikat besar Cina malaysia, bukan nak menangkan sangat mereka, tapi secara adilnya mereka memang layak dipuji bila tiba bab kerja ni....itulah semangat yang aku belajar & ajar pada anak2ku. Sekian......
rom zaizul42@yahoo.com
nak mencelah sikit..
saya pun setuju dengan puan mastura..
cina kalau bekerja.. kita boleh cakap dia tak makan gaji buta.. melayu kalau bekerja... kita boleh cakap.. mcm makan gaji buta.. bukan nak hina bangsa sendiri.. tp itu yg saya alami.. saya rasa.. saya sbenarnyer kesian dengan bangsa kita sendiri.. memang kesian.. kita bukan nak suruh ikut cara hidup cina.. kita cume ambil cara cina bekerja sebagai panduan..
contoh lah. dulu saya berkerja dgn company melayu tapi ditadbir oleh orang cina dekat 10 tahun.. kalau boss suruh buat kerja dan task itu mesti disiapkan dlm masa 3 hari... keluar saja dari bilik boss, staff akan terus fikirkan macam mana nak siap kan kerja dan kalau tak ada kerja yg urgent dia akan terus buat kerja yang disuruh.. dan kerja akan siap dlm masa 2 hari ataupun sehari setengah. kerja memang systematic. tak de tangguhan.
sekarang saya berkerja dengan company yang seratus peratus.. dari management sampai lah ke tukang sapu semua melayu.. masyaallah.. tak sistematik nya... saya ada orang bawahan. jadi bila kita minta dibuat sesuatu atau nak tukar system baru.... terlalu banyak sangat alasan.. itu tak boleh.. ini tak boleh.. bila di suruh buat satu task, bukan diorang fikir mcm mana nak selesaikan task tu.. diorang akan buat tak tau sampai boss yang akan dtg ke tempat org bawahan tu dan tanya.. bila nak start buat.. sabar betul dgn perangai orang macam ni. bila buat bukan focus.. sekejap2 hilang.. pegi mana? bergayut telefon.. tak pun pegi minum.. pegi merokok lepak2.. jadinya kerja yg sehari boleh siap.. jadi 3 hari.. kerja yang dlm sebulan boleh siap .. jadinya dua tahun pon tak siap...
seboleh boleh nak buat overtime.. ini sudah tidak betul.. kalau benda boleh disiapkan awal tak perlu lah nak overtime.. apa lah nak balik lambat2.. serabut kepala saya.
mesti ada yang melenting.. suruh saya kerja ngan cina balik.. bukan begitu niat saya.. saya nak bekerja dengan company melayu sebab saya nak salurkan kemahiran saya pada company bangsa saya.. nak bagi maju lagi.. tak mau dah orang cakap itu ini pada bangsa saya.. tapinya itulah.. susah nak change mind set. bagi saya kalau tak mahu undang2/ hidup/kerja yang bersystem.. duduk lah di hutan..
from eilahcci@yahoo.com
saya pun nak mencelah jugak r...tak pernah2 masuk forum bincang2 nie..hehehe
yup, thats rite..memang org cina boleh dipuji kalau bab2 keja. Diorang memang tak buang masa waktu kerja. Saya bekerja dengan company cina dulu, kerja memang nak cepat aje...dalam ofis tu tak adanyer nak jalan lenggang lenggok...,berlari je...nk p ambik file situ..sini...berlari je..tapi saya suka..saya terikut sama dengan pekerja cina. Saya berlari-lari ke satu2 tempat dalam ofis tu. After 2 years kat situ, saya masuk plak company Melayu, terikut2 ler saya punya cara kat opis lama (company cina)..saya berlari ke situ..ke sini..adaler sorang pekerja melayu tu tegur saya, saya asyik berlari je...so i juz answer her yang saya memang kerja macam ni ler, terikut tempat kerja lama. Saya story kat dia cara orang cina bekerja, dia pun terikut ler sama dengan cara saya...hehhehe..asyik kejar masa je.Sekarang saya masuk syarikat melayu kat negeri asal saya, ermmmm...susah r skit kat sini, memang nk speaking tu susah r, dio org pandang semacam je biler saya cakap london sikit je...saya dah biasa dgn suasana bekerja dengan cepat, cakap plk campur2 melayu ngan org putih...saya cuba terapkan pengalaman sy bekerja kepada pekerja2 kat sini, tapi memang melayu susah nak terima pembaharuan. Ermmm, saya tetap sama...berlari dlm opis untuk siapkan kerja yang diberi...hikhikhik... Lagi yang saya nampak kalau pergi ke restoran melayu, ermmm pelayan2 nyer slow r buat kerja...biler sy ckp nk jumpa pengurus, baruler dioorg layan saya mcm VIP class..biler ler melayu nk maju kalau macam nie. Sy pun bangsa melayu, tapi ntahler....
Salam sahabat semua,
Dah lama juga sy tak hantar posting sebab sibuk sangat dan selalu keluar kawasan, alhamdulillah sejak guna gsm celcom nih dah boleh baca email kat mana, bolehlah nak baca email dalam perjalanan jika tukar pemandu atau berenti kat r n r ...hehehe
Sy juga ingin berkongsi pengalaman mengenai sikap dan budaya nih kerana daripada pengalaman saya sebagai majikan..... dan mempunyai perniagaan sendiri.
Hampir 100% partner dan pekerja saya adalah orang melayu.... saya x kata semuanya seperti yang telah dibincangkan ada juga yang bagus.. ttp banyak lagi yang tak bagus...masa temuduga semua boleh, bila dah kerja byk yg x boleh dari yang boleh.... sehingga terpaksa kekadang kita terpaksa buat dulu tunjuk kat dia yang perkara itu boleh dibuat. Yang paling teruk lagi suka buat gosip itu ini. Pasal kita majikan memanglah jadi topik utama setiap bulan, gaji diberi awal pun salah diberi lewat pun salah dan mesti jadi isu. Gaji diberi cepat, majikan disalahkan sebab duit dia cepat habis, bila beri lewat dikatakan kita x perihatin kepada pekerja, dan mereka nih kene layan macam anak kat rumah, jika minta duit kene bagi, bagi runcit2 sebab dia orang suka macam tu.. bila cukup bulan gaji dapat sikit... muka dah x happy, lepas tu mulalah buat perangai sebab kepala dok serabut gaji x cukup nak bayar sewa rumah, kereta dan macam2.
Kita majikan pakai proton je sebab jimat lagipun nak buat keje, kalu selalu rosak kita boleh tukar lain atau repair kat mana-mana sebab alat ganti mudah dapat. Dia orang beli kereta, kalah kereta kita... itu kita x kisahlah, ttp lepas tu menyusahkan kita selalu x datang kerja kerana alasan kereta rosak dan x der alat ganti.... lepas tu kita jadi mangsa, sebab dia x datang kerja dan klu kita marah dia boleh blah macam tu je dan cari keje tempat lain.
Yang paling menyedihkan saya, mereka nih kalu bekerja dengan bangsa lain ok pulak malah bangga kalu bekeja dengan kompeni cina / mat saleh tak kisahlah klu keje tukang sapupun, bangga habis.... tp bila keje ngan kompeni bangsa sendiri hampeh.
Saya sebelum meniaga saya keje ngan jaya jusco, masa tu semua pengurusan kanan semuanya jepun.... saya keje ngan dia orang, memang seronok, tak ada yang x boleh, mesti boleh punya, klu tak boleh senior management akan buka baju dan dia buat dulu, kemudian dia suruh kita buat... jadi x ada alasan klu kita nak kata tak boleh (sikap nih sy bawa kat dalam perniagaan saya) dan satu lagi klu meeting dia orang tak pernah bagi waktu meeting waktu tepat, mesti dia bagi waktu ganjil, contoh kul 8.17, 10.31. Mula tu saya pening juga kenapalah senior saya buat meting masa macam tu... salah taip ke... sy ty ngan senior saya, dia kata klu kita letak waktu tepat macam 8.30 ke 10.30 ke orang x kan hormati masa tu, tapi bila kita letak ganjil saya yang dapat surat tu akan memberi perhatian kepada waktu yang ganjil tu, jadi x ada alasan untuk datang lewat. Yang bestnya, siapa yang datang lewat, biarpun dia baru ucap selamat pagi... dia suruh duduk kat luar, tak bagi masuk meeting punya.... lepas tu pandai-pandailah cari sumber agar x terlepas mendapat maklumat tu... padan muka ..
Ramai dah sy interview bakal-bakal pekerja saya.... dari 10 yang datang nak cari sorang pun susah....
Bila datang interview, kita saja nak duga... nak tengok sikap dia... memang hampeh... terutama graduan bukan main sombong.... macamlah diploma/ijazah dia tu boleh bungkus dia waktu dia mati esok... sebab tu saya lebih rela ambil kakitangan yang ada spm / pmr pun bagus.... sebab mereka nih lebih menghormati pekerjaan yang mereka buat.... saya rela lebih baik saya keluarkan belanja hantar mereka dengan pelbagai kursus sebab mereka akan lebih menghargai apa yang syarikat berikan... berbanding graduan sebab mereka ingat mereka dah cukup bagus.
Bila sy interview graduan... sy acah je, sy ty, sy tawarkan gaji RM 600.00 kepada awak. Dia terus je jawab, 600 mana cukup, duit tambang datang sini, nak makan, nak bagi emak, nak bayar duit kete dan macam2 lagi.
Orang yang macam nih, awal-awal lagi saya suruh dia keluar.... buang masa jer.
Berbanding jika orang yang benar-benar yang memang nak bekerja.... dia tak ty berapa sy nak bayar gaji dia... dia akan kata encik tengok dulu saya bekerja, jika encik berpuas hati... encik bayarlah berpandukan kepada prestasi saya...... orang macam nih sy 90% dalam senarai pemilihan saya. Dan saya ambil orang yang bersikap macam nih, biarpun dia x der kelulusan seperti yang saya mahukan.... tp saya boleh develop orang macam nih.... berbanding graduan (bukan semua).
Banyak juga pengalaman saya berhadapan ngan orang melayu nih... nantilah bila saya terluang lagi saya akan poskan pengalaman2 lain....
Terima kasih kepada semua sahabat
Things a Man Should Know About Women
Things a Man Should Know About Women
http://www.esquire.com/women/ESQ0299-FEB_THINGSWomen can tell if a man is the kind of man who likes women.
Women like a man who likes women who like to eat.
An unsolicited kiss is to a woman as free playoff tickets are to a man.
Even better: flowers on days that aren't Valentine's Day, anniversaries, or birthdays.
Speaking of flowers, they are most effective when delivered to her workplace.
Getting back to kissing: more lip.
Less tongue.
The small of the back, the nape of the neck, behind the knees.
While the occasional quick love bite is, in context, welcome, that incessant animal-in-a-leg-trap gnawing: no.
As a rule, even if she wears a thong the first time you see her unclothed, she prefers white cotton panties.
As a rule, women don't like heels.
Should she decide to wear heels anyway, have the confidence to support her decision, even if they make her taller than you.
If you ask about her previous boyfriend and she gets a small, wistful smile on her face, change the subject.
You have no previous girlfriend.
If she doesn't believe you when you say you have no previous girlfriend, admit to only one and offer: "She was unintelligent, a bad dresser, lousy in bed, couldn't cook, and had warts on her nipples."
It also doesn't hurt to add that you like pets, enjoy children, volunteer often, and think, if only the church weren't against the use of condoms, you could have joined the priesthood.
Never let her arrive at an event alone.
Sometimes women want it when you don't, and for you not to give in on such occasions sets a terrible precedent.
Her job is just as important as yours.
If she works out, compliment her muscles.
When asked if she looks fat, even if it's the one thousandth time, you must be always at the ready with an immediate, confident "Suuu-eeeeeee!"
That was a joke.
Not a joke, and a phrase you should commit to memory: "Of course you don't look fat."
No, you were not looking at that other woman.
First-date don'ts: overdress, underdress, show up too early, show up too late, or talk too much about yourself.
Relationship helper. Please complete: anniversary date:___; birthday:___; dress size:___; shoe size:___; bra size:___.
Know that while Rhett Butler can get away with telling Scarlett O'Hara that she "should be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how," you cannot.
Only acceptable pickup line: "Hi, my name is [insert your name]. What's yours?"
On PMS: The fact that she knows hormones are causing her temporary crankiness doesn't make the feelings any less real, so cut her some slack.
At those times when she criticizes your mood, it's okay to remind her of how you always cut her some slack on PMS days.
Do not expect this gambit to work.
Don't insult her friends, even if she does.
More than anything else, women want you to make them laugh.
Women are less excited about receiving gifts of lingerie than you are about giving them.
Women are less excited about sleeping with another woman for your viewing pleasure than you are.
Men always overestimate the size of their wives' or girlfriends' chests even as they underestimate the size of their wives' or girlfriends' hips.
Wishful thinking is bad for your relationship.
Avoid a woman who competes with her mother or her sister.
Embrace a woman who is best friends with either.
Women dislike men who are liars.
Women like men who have close friends.
No matter how furtive or quick the glance, a woman always knows when you're looking at her breasts.
Second-date don'ts: See first-date don'ts, plus don't presume that you're now entitled to sex.
Going shopping with more than one woman at any given time will consume a minimum of seventeen hours that could have been spent napping.
Contrary to popular belief, an out-of-shape man is just as unappealing to a woman as an out-of-shape woman is to a man.
Women want you to pay for dinner.
It's pointless to argue with her if you're not going to win.
You're not going to win.
A good woman is as excited about a gift that costs nothing as she is about a gift that costs a lot.
Women have to pay more for their haircuts, dry cleaning, and shoes, and this upsets them.
Women have to buy new outfits every season, and this makes them happy.
Should you hit it off with a woman, perhaps think you are soul mates, and fall into bed in an unclothed, heavy-breathing, romance-novel tangle, and, in the heat of it all, she moans, "Daddy," do not even attempt to put your pants on until you are in the car.
The idea of love at first sight, though attractive to women in theory, terrifies them in practice.
The quirky perfect gift that shows you've been listening is worth twice the value of anything you can find at Tiffany's.
Of course, it doesn't hurt if the quirky perfect gift happens to be from Tiffany's.
Gifts that may be quirky but never perfect: a blender, a beater, a vacuum cleaner, or a waffle iron.
While yes sometimes means no, no always means no, as does her ordering the garlicky pesto sauce, twirling her hair around her finger while gazing absently into space, and getting up from the table to go to the ladies' room and never returning.
Third-date don'ts: See first- and second-date don'ts, plus don't start talking about how you never want to have children or, for that matter, how you want to have children immediately.
Women, much like men, are human, and thus appreciate it when you ask them questions about themselves.
Most women do not like ice fishing, golf, bowling, or poker, which is why every man must take up at least one of these hobbies, because, while uninteresting, they allow for the woman-free consumption of liquor and the unfettered discussion of, you know, women.
Those few women who do like ice fishing, golf, bowling, or poker are the reason God invented the Elks club.
Never ask a woman why she's mad at you, as she will only get madder at your not knowing.
One follow-up to an unreturned phone call is acceptable; two is stalking.
If you're single, the tango will do the trick. If you're married, the tango will also do the trick. Possibly even with your wife.
Women do not desire to be introduced to a new brand of perfume.
Women do not wish to be trifled with should they, on occasion, order dessert.
Less than .05 percent of the male population is attractive enough to ignore chivalry, and most women over the age of twenty-five prefer to admire such men from a distance.
Don't kiss and tell, even if you're really proud of yourself.
Love does not mean never having to say you're sorry. It means having to say you're sorry over and over again, in new and different ways, every day, every week, every month, even when you don't want to, every year, until God grants you his mercy and you finally, blissfully die.
Showering a woman with gifts after the first date is the romantic equivalent of a comb-over.
Women who come from big families are more fun.
Women who have two or more brothers are less likely to be disgusted by you.
Women, despite all your years of trying to understand them, including your intimate familiarity with Freudian psychology, the occasional intelligence-gathering glance at Cosmo, and the memorization of these seventy-three things a man should know about them, will always remain a mystery.
Pelbagai Ucapan Hari Raya
My personal favourite:
Bagai malam tanpa bulan
Bagai siang tanpa mentari
Sayu hati meninggalkan Ramadan
Entahkan dapat bersua lagi
SELAMAT MENYAMBUT AIDILFITRI
Mohon ampun atas tiap keterlanjuran bahasa dan perbuatan
Kawan dari KL
Pelita diletak di atas para
Hendak dinyalakn di tepi perigi
SMS dihantar pengganti kad raya
Tanda ingatan di AIDILFITRI
Maaf zahir batin
Adik angkat dari Melaka
Jika tangan tak sempat berjabat
Jua kata tak sempat terucap
Kerna wajah tak sempat bertatap
Tapi masih dapat melahirkan kata-kata keramat
"SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI, MAAF ZAHIR BATIN"
Kawan dari Perlis
Biar renggang di fana dunia
Biar hina di mata manusia
Biar semangat semakin tua
Biar akal semakin dewasa
Biar manusia mengejar dunia
Biar tinta lapuk dek masa
Biar suratan menentu usia
Namun
Tidak tergadai silaturrahim kita
"SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI, MAAF ZAHIR BATIN"
Kawan dari KL
Di dalam kerendahan hari
Ada ketinggian budi
Dalam kemiskinan harta
Ada kekayaan jiwa
Dalam gurau senda
Ada khilaf dan dosa
Jika kesilapan semalam belum terampun, maafkanlah
Jika kesilapan hari ini menyakitkan, harap lupakanlah
Jika kesilapan esok mendatang, janganlah dibawa ke akhirat
"SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI, MAAF ZAHIR BATIN"
Kawan dari UPM
Seiring aluan Takbir, Tahlil dan Tahmid menyambut 1 Syawal 1428H
Dari lubuk hati kami sekeluarga mohon dibukakan pintu maaf lahir batin
Semoga Allah menerima amal ibadah kita dan mengumpulkan kita dalam kebaikan
Kawan dari Terengganu
Selamat dalam redhaNya
Sejahtera dalam ampunNya
Bahagia dalam rahmatNya
Semoga segala dosa kita terampun hendaknya
Kawan dari Selangor
Ada kalanya...
Mata tersilap memandang
Telinga tersalah mendengar
Lidah terlanjur berkata
Fikiran terkhilaf mentafsir
Hati tersalah menduga
10 jari disusun memohon kemaafan untuk segalanya
Salam Aidilfitri Tulus Ikhlas
Kawan dari Negeri Sembilan
Ramadan berlalu semoga perginya kita beroleh rahmat, keampunan dan kebebasan dari api neraka
Serta memperoleh ketaqwaan juga keredhaan Allah
Selamat menyambut Aidilfitri
Mohon maaf zahir dan batin
Kawan dari Melaka
Setitik embun di pohon rimbun
Di atap nipah air tergenang
Dosa tertimbun mohon diampun
Sila dan salah jangan dikenang
Salam Aidlifitri Maaf Zahir Zahir dan Batin
Kawan dari Shah Alam
Jadikan jalinan antara kita terbina persis untaian tasbih
Ada awal tiada penghujung
Dibentuk untuk mengingatiNya
Dicantum kerana cintaNya
Diratib semata-mata kerana redhaNya
Menitis air mata tika merasai kemanisanNya
Semoga jalinan ini kekal dan dirahmati Allah.
Selamat Hari Raya. Maaf Zahir dan Batin
Kawan dari Selangor
Ramadan dilalui penuh kesabaran
Syawal kini menjelang semula
Selamat menyambut hari lebaran
Dari saya dan keluarga
Maaf Zahir Batin
Kawan dari Selangor
Kena Tipu dengan Faratech?
Pernahkah anda mendengar syarikat Faratech, sebuah syarikat yang berasaskan IT?
Ini cerita beberapa orang kawan saya yang dah kena tipu??? oleh syarikat ini. Mungkin tak 100% betul kalau saya kata kena tipu, tapi itulah terms yang sesuai untuk menerangkan masalah ini. Kawan saya tu berhutang dengan saya RM 100+ pun tak boleh nak bayar balik kat saya.. Agaknya semua duitnya dah dimasukkan ke program ni.
Syarikat ni kononnya nak menolong orang-orang Melayu berniaga dalam bidang IT. Siap buat program bersama-sama dengan Dewan Perniagaan Melayu dan juga Mara. Tapi awas, sekali anda membeli produknya, anda mungkin hanya dibiarkan terkontang-kanting sendirian.
Syarikat ini menjadi pengedar untuk barangan TMNET seperti Streamyx dan juga Bluehyppo. Streamyx tu mungkin la boleh dijual, tapi sapa sebenarnya nak beli Bluehyppo? Menurut seorang kawan yang pernah bertugas di TMNET, dia pernah pergi ke sebuah rumah pelanggan Faratech di Johor dan pelanggan tersebut menunjukkannya almarinya yang penuh dengan set Bluehyppo yang tidak boleh terjual.....
Antara yang perlu anda teliti:
- Perlukah modal RM 26,000 untuk menjadi agen TMNET dengan Faratech sedangkan kawan saya kata tak perlu. Boleh terus pergi daftar dengan TMNET..
- Penerangan Faratech seolah-olah dia agen tunggal, siap tunjuk gambar dengan Mara...
Dari laman web www.faratech.com.my
FaraTech (M) Sdn Bhd (FaraTech) was established on 22nd August 1997 and it started humbly as a business research and development company. Today, FaraTech is an outstanding company in the national arena involved in the business of multimedia and ICT based products. It provides Internet solutions, training for corporations and government organizations and strategic marketing consultancy for distribution programmes.
FaraTech is committed to continually introduce unique distribution solutions developed through proprietary initiatives, joint ventures or strategic alliances, which create revenue-generating opportunities for its clients. Therefore, FaraTech has accomplished prominent partnerships with leading organizations as TM Net Sdn Bhd, Majlis Amanah Rakyat, Commerce Dot Com Sdn Bhd, PT Indosat Tbk and many more.
FaraTech’s adventurous directors travel to tens of countries seeking new knowledge, identifying new business concepts and enhancing their corporate network internationally. In the year 2004, FaraTech’s network grew solid enough to start its operations overseas through its associate company PT Jakarta Digital Cipta. Soon, FaraTech will venture into more countries to expand its wings into the vast worldwide market.Perlukah Training?
Sebagai seorang pekerja, sama ada bekerja sendiri atau bekerja dengan orang lain, tentulah kita ingin memperbaiki diri kita sendiri.
Banyak syarikat di Malaysia ni yang menawarkan perkhidmatan "training" ni. Contohnya, untuk yang bekerja sendiri, penting untuk anda mempertingkatkan pengetahuan di dalam CASH FLOW, HANDLING ACCOUNTS, dan sebagainya.
Saya sendiri pernah menghadiri kursus-kursus seperti ini. Bagaimanapun, satu yang saya masih terkilan sehingga kini ialah bila menghadiri kursus HANDLING FULL SET OF ACCOUNTS yang dikendalikan oleh HEADWAY TRAINING & DEVELOPMENT CENTER.
Penceramah berjanji untuk mengemail saya beberapa dokumen penting yang berkaitan dengan ceramahnya. Walaupun saya telah memperingatkannya melalui email, sehingga kini saya masih belum menerimanya.. Training yang telah saya hadiri tu telah lama juga - Oktober, 2003 di Sheraton Hotel, Subang Jaya.
Sekiranya anda ingin menghadiri kursus-kursus seperti ini, periksa dahulu kredibiliti syarikat terbabit dan dapatkan komen dari kawan-kawan yang pernah menghadirinya. Sekiranya tidak duit beratus ringgit yang dibelanjakan mungkin tidak memberikan sebarang faedah pun...
